Caveat Emptor

Let’s step back in time to when I met The Manager. That Sunday was the last day of my girls trip before heading home to reality and colder temperatures. My flight was in the late afternoon, and The Manager was getting back into town around mid-day. We arranged to meet at a hotel near mine,…

Quit This.

I want to push boundaries. Mostly my own, But yours, too. A child with a lens Tilted just so in the sun, I’ll watch as you squirm, Trying to evade My beam of intrusion. I want to demolish walls. Mostly my own, But yours, too. Hands on the controls, Mad gleam in my eye, As…

Once Bitten, Twice Shy

Time for an update. I know things have been a bit glum here lately, but life is generally a grab bag of exultant and heart-wrenching, and my life is no exception, so here goes… I’ve seen The Leo twice recently. While I’ve been working through the fallout from my complicated feelings toward The Voyeur, I’ve…

Happily Narrowing the Field

Want to know what bothers me about this meme (aside from the misplaced modifier)? It implies that because we’ve been hurt or rejected by previous partners, we are now damaged goods. To think of oneself as “goods” at all is a bit problematic, but to assume the label of “damaged” strikes a nerve with me….

My Past Isn’t a Script for My Future

As I look back over the past few weeks, it appears as though my head and heart decided to ring in the new year by declaring a vicious war against one another. This degree of unprecedented inner turmoil has left me out of sorts, at a loss to explain myself. And then I wondered, “Could…

Aftermath

What did I think would happen? I used romantic comedy references to explain how I was feeling, but I certainly didn’t expect a romantic comedy resolution (which, by the way, would have looked something like The Voyeur showing up at my doorstep, offering a short, dramatic monologue before telling me he loved me too, a…

40. The Leo

Or “How I Realized I Didn’t Know Myself As Well As I Thought” Or “How My Dating Life Turned Into a Series of Rom-Com References” Let’s start with The Leo. In case you were wondering when you’d meet the guy who’s been reading the blog as a means of figuring me out, here he is….

38. – 39. Senior Superlatives, Part 2

I wrote the first installment of Senior Superlatives a few months back, and as I grope around the bottom of the barrel of matches (Bernard Malamud reference? Check.) to wrap up my first venture into the world of blogging, I’m coming up with the equivalent of one-liners. Neither of these guys deserves his own post,…

37. The Teacher

Right around my dating anniversary, I quit using Tinder, overhauled my Bumble profile, and decided to spring for a one-month subscription. The main benefit of the subscription is that it allows me to browse through a list of men who had already swiped right on me. If I was interested, my right swipe sealed the…

35. The Geek

I may have a bit of a thing for intellectual guys. They go by nerds (or blerds), geeks, or gamers, but there’s something about them that calls to me through my phone screen, and the temptation to swipe right is strong. I couldn’t tell you the difference between Marvel and DC Comics, I don’t play…

Rejection Reflection

Sometimes The Voyeur gives me a hard time for being an optimist, for believing that people can change, for putting my heart out there in the hopes that I’ll find someone in the dumpster fire that is modern dating. But I secretly believe that he wishes he were less cynical, more like me. I mean,…

34. The Drummer

Let’s talk about personal care, cleanliness, and shaving. It all relates to The Drummer, I promise. I have mixed feelings about body hair, especially as it pertains to women. To start, the cultural norms I was raised in dictated that my legs and underarms must be shaved. My experiences in young adulthood led me to…

33. The Hermit

Things I liked about The Hermit: His proximity (only a few miles from me) His availability (he was always available) His passivity (he wasn’t pushy and didn’t ask anything of me) His coffee addiction (my favorite activity was his, too) His sensuality (I enjoy being enjoyed) Things about The Hermit that were challenging: His proximity…made…

28. The Scientist

In the process of writing this blog, I forced myself to name all the names, to consider everyone I went out with, to spend some time assessing what went down. Some stories are dramatic, some are funny, others are painful, and still others are…mysterious. I looked over my list of “blog entries to write,” and…

Intermission

I know that I’m more than halfway to forty, but I felt a break was in order. “Forty matches to finding myself” implies a level of self-reflection that I feel has been lacking in the last few posts. After about 7 months of relentlessly dating, matching, and messaging, I took a step back and asked…

22. – 26. The Wide World of Kink

The scope of my sexual experience leading up to The Year of Living Promiscuously was pretty limited. Needless to say, my understanding of kink was also narrow, but I was curious — fascinated, even. I adopted an attitude of “I’ll try anything (within reason) once,” and it has led me to some interesting encounters and…

19. The Manager

The Manager was one of three vacation matches (see here and here) from the weekend I went on that girls trip. He wasn’t in town when we matched — he was celebrating a buddy’s birthday, on a boat somewhere off the coast. Because that’s the kind of thing that men who you hook up with…

13. The Father

The Father was not the first, last, or only man I matched with who had kids. But when I think of him, my thoughts wander to his son and daughter (especially her), even though I never met them. It’d be easy for me to focus on how things ended (poorly), but for a moment I…

9. The Confidante: An Origin Story

One of my favorite things to have come out of The Year of Living Promiscuously is my relationship with The Confidante. He was one of my first matches. In fact, I met him on the same day that I had my first coffee with The Runner. He planned an ambitious first date: dinner, bowling, improv…

6. – 8. Tales of International Failure

Three vignettes about men who didn’t make it all the way around the bases. 6. The Musician In hindsight, I feel bad about this one. Start to finish, I wasn’t that into him, and I’m ashamed to admit that I used him for dinner, kissed him chastely, then sent him on his way, visibly frustrated….