The Next Chapter

For anyone wondering what I’ve been up to…. I started a new blog! My dating life may have reached its natural end, but the adventures continue as The Match and I attempt to swirl our lives together. Marriage, kids, moving in, religion, parenting, education, culture, extended family. There’s a lot going on, and you’re welcome…

Story Time

This is my 100th blog post, and it comes just after my one-year WordPress anniversary. In honor of this momentous occasion, I’d like to tell you a story… For the past four and a half months, not a day has gone by that I haven’t caught myself marveling about how much I love The Match….

Open

The catharsis of my recent post was intoxicating. I have likely fallen off the radar of any regular readership, if such a thing ever existed, but it doesn’t really matter. So here’s a poem to keep the momentum going. “Open” The part I like least Is my fear of the other side Where grass is…

Unlocking the Door

When I was a kid and spent an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom, my dad would shout through the locked door, “Did you fall in?!” Cute, right? Any extended period of isolation chalked up to calamity rather than choice. A few days ago, I was reminded of this childhood memory when I got…

An Accelerated Case of Self-Discovery

In the past month, I have abandoned at least a half dozen mostly-finished posts now relegated to draft status in perpetuity. The problem is that I keep having these significant mental/emotional revelations, but by the time I start to process one, another comes rolling along. So I’ve opted to condense all of my shit into…

A Dating Blog With No Dating

The danger in having a blog that is largely centered on my dating life is that one day, I will quit dating, leaving me with little to no blog content. And lo and behold, having fallen madly in love with a handsome nerd who makes me unbelievably happy, I now find myself facing the aforementioned…

Balancing Act

The Match met my two younger kids a few days ago. This felt both momentous (to me) and insignificant (to them), for what does it mean to meet yet another adult in their child-centric lives? They waved at him obligingly before running back to what they had been doing before. His child was also there,…

Sometimes You Just Know

Snapshots from today: 8:15 am: The Match insisted on making me breakfast without any clothes on. I returned the favor and made some naked coffee. 8:45 am: We discussed the necessity of a solidly choreographed first dance “if we ever get married,” then we got real about what we actually wanted (a visit to the…

The Mystery of Timing in Relationships

“What do you think it is that makes us different?” The Match asks me. We’ve just finished devouring giant slices of cake — lemon for him, coconut for me — at an Italian coffee place in the city, the second stop on a recent summer weeknight date. When I’d shown up earlier that evening to…

Can We Talk?

I fear that my blog will start veering into saccharine territory unless I begin covering topics beyond my relationship with The Match. And I promise that I will do so, but first, a few things relevant to The Forty. When I sensed that things between my new guy and I were rapidly becoming serious, I…

The Wonder of It All

I’ve now seen The Match four times in nine days, and I feel like I’m in some kind of alternate reality in which I get what I want but don’t know quite what to do with it. Here, Fortymatches — a handsome, successful, kind, smart, funny, considerate man who’s crazy about you. Have fun!  Errrr…ok. Thanks?…

Old Habits, New Faces

The theme in my life lately has been something along the lines of: don’t make excuses for not doing what you dream of doing — tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Strangely, this same message was playing out for The Leo and factored heavily into his decision to break up with me. Yep, you read that right. He…

Wait…What?

About a week and a half ago, I broke up with The Leo. And yesterday, we got back together. Let me explain. TLDR for those who don’t feel like reading the original post: The Leo called me and made it clear that he didn’t want to be “in a relationship.” Nor did he want to…

The One-Man Hall of Fame

When I recorded the stories that made up The Forty, I wrote mostly from memory, with the benefit of perspective that comes with the passage of time. Now that I’m back in dating land with a renewed sense of intention (though perhaps lacking enthusiasm), writing about dating in real time has me feeling decidedly feisty….

Jane Austen Vs. The All-You-Can-Eat Buffet

Do you ever feel like you have some area of your life under control, only to be blindsided by evidence to the contrary? I am currently feeling overwhelmed by insecurity, and while most people I know deal with insecurity regularly (it seems to be a fairly unifying human experience), I usually don’t worry too much…

Chasing the Thigh Gap

I’m sitting on his couch, wearing red underwear and a t-shirt he gave me, my feet propped up on the coffee table. He’s lying on the couch to my right, and we’re talking about Saturday morning things, which is to say, nothing of consequence. I’m sorry to change the subject, but I just have to…

Three Things I Always Assume

I’ve read that making assumptions is an unhealthy habit, but I’ve also read that I shouldn’t believe everything I read. So in the spirit of ignoring conventional wisdom, here are three assumptions I make in just about any social or professional situation I find myself. 1. Everyone likes me. Ok. I know that this one…

“I’m Not Worried.”

Even though I had plenty of face time with The Leo this weekend, I didn’t ever feel like the time was right for the conversation I wanted to have. I mean, what was I even going to say? You see, the thing is…the reason I asked you to stop reading the blog is because I…

The Trouble With “Too Nice”

I’ve lately started wondering about the sort of dysfunction one must experience and internalize to look at a potential romantic partner and judge them “too nice.” What does it even mean to be too nice? Am I so accustomed to assholes that I’m instantly suspicious of nice guys? (Hint: yes) By picking on this non-existent…

You Are Cordially Uninvited

I don’t doubt that what I see as my own charm, whimsy, and honesty constitute red flags for potential dates. So to any man who emerges from the obstacle course of my single-mom status and “refreshing honesty” about my shortcomings with his eyes still fixed on pursuit, I say, “Bravo, sir – bring it on.”…