Unlocking the Door

When I was a kid and spent an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom, my dad would shout through the locked door, “Did you fall in?!” Cute, right? Any extended period of isolation chalked up to calamity rather than choice. A few days ago, I was reminded of this childhood memory when I got…

Can We Talk?

I fear that my blog will start veering into saccharine territory unless I begin covering topics beyond my relationship with The Match. And I promise that I will do so, but first, a few things relevant to The Forty. When I sensed that things between my new guy and I were rapidly becoming serious, I…

Still Kicking

Let me just say that I’ve missed writing — and by extension, my writing community here. I did manage to get some reading done, though, which is noteworthy because I’ve been in a dry spell for the past six months. I’m reading (listening to, actually, because my life is ridiculous) The Brief Wondrous Life of…

The Retired Beggar

I’ve been trying to write this post for the past few days, but my feelings are tangled up in self-preservation. There’s this part of me that doesn’t want to seem like a heartless asshole. Then there’s this other part of me that is, in fact, a heartless asshole. So it’s hard, ya know. I have…

Expedition Day Five: Send Reinforcements (or Alcohol)

I reinstalled Bumble, added Hinge to my repertoire, and at five days in, I’m already feeling decidedly “meh” about all of it. Coupled with an Office Space-caliber case of the Mondays and intermittent rain clouds, my malaise had me moping around on self-pity island for the better part of the day. After I sent a…

The Friend Zone Nebula

I need to sort through some things, so bear with me while I analyze several conversations I’ve had with The Voyeur in the past month. Let’s travel back in time to just about four weeks ago. To set the stage, he and I were discussing plans we’d made to grab a drink after work the…

“I’m Not Worried.”

Even though I had plenty of face time with The Leo this weekend, I didn’t ever feel like the time was right for the conversation I wanted to have. I mean, what was I even going to say? You see, the thing is…the reason I asked you to stop reading the blog is because I…

The Bliss of Ignorance

I prefer when circumstances align that allow me to be either a written processor or a verbal processor. When I’m struggling with something, I come here and write about it, or I call one of the people in my inner circle, or I do some combination of the two, ultimately arriving at some level of…

…What She’s Having

I find myself thinking a lot lately about When Harry Met Sally — or rather, about the film’s central question: can men and women be friends without sex getting in the way? I’ve made several friends over the past year or so, most notably The Confidante and The Voyeur (my many years of French classes…

A Different Kind of Ghosting

The ghosts of matches past keep appearing. Fortunately not in my bedroom at midnight, but still. In the past two weeks, I’ve heard from The Scientist, The Hermit, The Leaguer, and The Cop. Full disclosure: The Hermit and I have been exploring the landscape of a text-only friendship for the past five weeks, and it’s…

The Waiting is The Hardest Part

Without a doubt, my worst quality is my impatience. Not when it comes to lines or restaurants or events, necessarily, but primarily with other people. When I reach a place of realization or decision-making, I get fidgety when others don’t match my pace. My impatience manifests as my attempting to push or pull people along…

Early Mourning Thoughts

Things have been challenging between The Voyeur and me for the past three weeks. First, the declaration of love (mine) delivered via blog, next the distress and confusion (his), then the relative calm and distinct awkwardness that resulted from our failure to reach a resolution. In my impatience to find the elusive tidy solution that…

9. The Confidante: An Origin Story

One of my favorite things to have come out of The Year of Living Promiscuously is my relationship with The Confidante. He was one of my first matches. In fact, I met him on the same day that I had my first coffee with The Runner. He planned an ambitious first date: dinner, bowling, improv…