Jane Austen Vs. The All-You-Can-Eat Buffet

Do you ever feel like you have some area of your life under control, only to be blindsided by evidence to the contrary? I am currently feeling overwhelmed by insecurity, and while most people I know deal with insecurity regularly (it seems to be a fairly unifying human experience), I usually don’t worry too much…

Chasing the Thigh Gap

I’m sitting on his couch, wearing red underwear and a t-shirt he gave me, my feet propped up on the coffee table. He’s lying on the couch to my right, and we’re talking about Saturday morning things, which is to say, nothing of consequence. I’m sorry to change the subject, but I just have to…

I Want to Write, But…

I want to write, but my brain is stretched thin, like getting eight more cookies out of five cookies’ worth of dough. Like squeezing into that cheap-ass dress a size too small — the one with a price I couldn’t resist. Like the shoulder seams of my favorite t-shirt, held together less by thread than…

The Friend Zone Nebula

I need to sort through some things, so bear with me while I analyze several conversations I’ve had with The Voyeur in the past month. Let’s travel back in time to just about four weeks ago. To set the stage, he and I were discussing plans we’d made to grab a drink after work the…

Three Things I Always Assume

I’ve read that making assumptions is an unhealthy habit, but I’ve also read that I shouldn’t believe everything I read. So in the spirit of ignoring conventional wisdom, here are three assumptions I make in just about any social or professional situation I find myself. 1. Everyone likes me. Ok. I know that this one…

A Scene From The Office

I’m wearing a bright scarf today, Looped twice, draped loosely, Too bright maybe. Orange and purple, pink and blue, But mostly orange. With coral lips and a hint of doubt. “Is it too much — all this color?” I ask. “Definitely not,” they assure me, These older women, Whose staunch philosophies Involve never leaving the…

“I’m Not Worried.”

Even though I had plenty of face time with The Leo this weekend, I didn’t ever feel like the time was right for the conversation I wanted to have. I mean, what was I even going to say? You see, the thing is…the reason I asked you to stop reading the blog is because I…

The Trouble With “Too Nice”

I’ve lately started wondering about the sort of dysfunction one must experience and internalize to look at a potential romantic partner and judge them “too nice.” What does it even mean to be too nice? Am I so accustomed to assholes that I’m instantly suspicious of nice guys? (Hint: yes) By picking on this non-existent…

You Are Cordially Uninvited

I don’t doubt that what I see as my own charm, whimsy, and honesty constitute red flags for potential dates. So to any man who emerges from the obstacle course of my single-mom status and “refreshing honesty” about my shortcomings with his eyes still fixed on pursuit, I say, “Bravo, sir – bring it on.”…

The Bliss of Ignorance

I prefer when circumstances align that allow me to be either a written processor or a verbal processor. When I’m struggling with something, I come here and write about it, or I call one of the people in my inner circle, or I do some combination of the two, ultimately arriving at some level of…

Silent Rhythms

If I am a river, You are a tributary, Mingling your waters with mine, Flowing into, amongst, then away, To become a cloud Whose shape reminds me of you. If I am a path, You are a crossroad, Forcing unforeseen choices, Intersecting my progress with pleasure, The geometry of us, Diverging points on a compass…

Can People Change?

If you’ve ever mulled over the question of whether people can change in any significant way, you’ve likely landed somewhere on the yes-no spectrum based on what you’ve experienced in your life and relationships. The unique blend of your personal history will inform your conclusion. I’ve always felt that people are capable of change but…

Single Mom Seeks Unicorn

I liken this blog to a slightly more edited version of my personal journal — it’s raw, confessional, and fiercely honest. One thing I don’t want is for it to ever veer into mommy blog territory, so while you shouldn’t be concerned that this post is a trend in that direction, I do want to…

Be Stone, Not Water

Love yourself enough today to be stone. Damn. If you’ve read through some of my posts, you already know I’ve not always been stalwart. I’ve been amenable. I’ve fallen victim to loneliness and longing, and it’s led me to precisely the point the author cautions me to avoid: the place where I’m water, surrounded by…

Deep Cuts

The original forty wrapped about a month ago, and if you’ve read through even a select smattering of my dating posts, you may have noticed how much I changed from the beginning of My Year to where I am today. Reaching my goal of posting my stories here has me feeling a bit introspective, so…

Forty’s Thoughts on Fifty

I was recently notified that I hit both the 50-posts mark and the 50-followers milestone. Fifty seems like a good place to do some reflecting, so here goes… I am a writer. I have always been a writer. My writing is at once catharsis and egotism, pure creation and a cry for attention, pressure release…

…What She’s Having

I find myself thinking a lot lately about When Harry Met Sally — or rather, about the film’s central question: can men and women be friends without sex getting in the way? I’ve made several friends over the past year or so, most notably The Confidante and The Voyeur (my many years of French classes…

A Different Kind of Ghosting

The ghosts of matches past keep appearing. Fortunately not in my bedroom at midnight, but still. In the past two weeks, I’ve heard from The Scientist, The Hermit, The Leaguer, and The Cop. Full disclosure: The Hermit and I have been exploring the landscape of a text-only friendship for the past five weeks, and it’s…

The Paradox of Pragmatism

Last night, I re-read Jack London’s short story “To Build a Fire,” which seemed an appropriate choice based on last week’s polar vortex. In the story, the narrator quickly identifies the solitary human character’s primary flaw: he lacks imagination. To this man, the extreme cold is an observable fact, a stimuli that requires a response…

Caveat Emptor

Let’s step back in time to when I met The Manager. That Sunday was the last day of my girls trip before heading home to reality and colder temperatures. My flight was in the late afternoon, and The Manager was getting back into town around mid-day. We arranged to meet at a hotel near mine,…