The Trouble With “Too Nice”

magnifying-glass-626174_1920I’ve lately started wondering about the sort of dysfunction one must experience and internalize to look at a potential romantic partner and judge them “too nice.”

What does it even mean to be too nice? Am I so accustomed to assholes that I’m instantly suspicious of nice guys? (Hint: yes) By picking on this non-existent character flaw, am I just walking out self-sabotage once again? (Ugh…yes)

And of course the voice of self-doubt from my last post may still be right, but if you recall, around the time I met The Leo, I had resolved to approach romance with boldness instead of self-preservation. I’m new to this, so a little stumbling is to be expected, but I’ve been seriously considering ending things with The Leo because he’s…too…nice?!?

There’s something to be said for digging into my thoughts, feelings, and assumptions — asking myself where they come from, what they’re based on. Without allowing space for self-examination, I will either stick to the patterns I know (whether or not they’re healthy and/or getting the desired results) or go through life applying the guess-and-check method of walking through relationships. Hey, it worked in math class! Granted, it took a lot longer than using a more appropriate strategy, but I got there eventually.

I don’t have time, though, to waste on guess-and-check. “Whimsy” is fun (and heaven knows this Sagittarius loves her some fun), but “intentional” is what I need right now. I mentioned a few posts ago that I needed to be more intentional about how I move with The Leo. I wrote it without even knowing how true it was. I’m going to see him tonight. We’re going to talk (self-doubt be damned), and regardless of how that goes, I’m going to have peace knowing that I was intentional about how I approached this relationship.

Image by Angelo_Giordano on Pixabay

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