Happily Narrowing the Field

Want to know what bothers me about this meme (aside from the misplaced modifier)? It implies that because we’ve been hurt or rejected by previous partners, we are now damaged goods. To think of oneself as “goods” at all is a bit problematic, but to assume the label of “damaged” strikes a nerve with me. Have I been wounded? Yes. Of course. But am I damaged? Or am I simply wiser than I used to be?

Perhaps what makes dating after 30 so challenging is that my eyes are sharper, my ability to assess the character of others is more developed, and my bullshit tolerance is significantly lower. If that means my options are limited, I’d like to think it’s because I’m limiting myself to men who don’t suck rather than looking at dating as some kind of dystopian wasteland of broken people.

Emotional damage is a real thing, but shouldering it as an identity that we carry into our dating lives is a choice. Also, by and large, y’all don’t smell.

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