37. The Teacher

Right around my dating anniversary, I quit using Tinder, overhauled my Bumble profile, and decided to spring for a one-month subscription. The main benefit of the subscription is that it allows me to browse through a list of men who had already swiped right on me. If I was interested, my right swipe sealed the…

36. The Stoner

**note: I know I said I was done for the year, but I find myself with an excess of free time, which almost never happens. As a result, you’ll meet the rest of the matches, and the concluding posts will roll out gradually over the next week or so. Let’s talk about ancient history before…

35. The Geek

I may have a bit of a thing for intellectual guys. They go by nerds (or blerds), geeks, or gamers, but there’s something about them that calls to me through my phone screen, and the temptation to swipe right is strong. I couldn’t tell you the difference between Marvel and DC Comics, I don’t play…

Rejection Reflection

Sometimes The Voyeur gives me a hard time for being an optimist, for believing that people can change, for putting my heart out there in the hopes that I’ll find someone in the dumpster fire that is modern dating. But I secretly believe that he wishes he were less cynical, more like me. I mean,…

34. The Drummer

Let’s talk about personal care, cleanliness, and shaving. It all relates to The Drummer, I promise. I have mixed feelings about body hair, especially as it pertains to women. To start, the cultural norms I was raised in dictated that my legs and underarms must be shaved. My young adulthood led me to believe that…

33. The Hermit

Things I liked about The Hermit: His proximity (only a few miles from me) His availability (he was always available) His passivity (he wasn’t pushy and didn’t ask anything of me) His coffee addiction (my favorite activity was his, too) His sensuality (I enjoy being enjoyed) Things about The Hermit that were challenging: His proximity…made…

31. & 32. A Few Happy Endings

  Every so often, I encounter someone who is perfectly lovely. We meet, we enjoy our time together, we go out once, twice, maybe more. And then, for reasons that aren’t ever particularly clear or upsetting, we drift apart. Here are two such stories. 31. The Driver I can’t remember what app we met on,…