Intermission

I know that I’m more than halfway to forty, but I felt a break was in order. “Forty matches to finding myself” implies a level of self-reflection that I feel has been lacking in the last few posts. After about 7 months of relentlessly dating, matching, and messaging, I took a step back and asked…

22. – 26. The Wide World of Kink

The scope of my sexual experience leading up to The Year of Living Promiscuously was, as previously mentioned, limited. My ex-husband, like most men, watched porn, and sexual trends would occasionally enter our repertoire without my fully understanding how or why. Also, he was a cheater, so there’s really no knowing what influence his dalliances…

20. – 21. The Couple

Somewhere in between meeting and losing The Manager, I matched with a couple. Occasionally on dating apps, you’ll encounter pictures with two people in them, usually a male-female couple looking for “a third,” almost always female. In this case, the Guy managed the profile, and the Girl took it from there. As soon as we…

19. The Manager

The Manager was one of three vacation matches (see here and here) from the weekend I went on that girls trip. He wasn’t in town when we matched — he was celebrating a buddy’s birthday, on a boat somewhere off the coast. Because that’s the kind of thing that men who you hook up with…

16. – 18. Hindsight

Short recollections of choices I wish I hadn’t made: 16. The Therapist, who knew my last name and address, who agreed to take my picture then became indignant when I wouldn’t send it to him, who joked that he would come over and take advantage of me, whose eyes betrayed the truth that he was…

15. The Writer

This match was not a writer. He was one of those people who would tell anyone who listens long enough that he would make a great writer because he has so many great ideas. Our date eventually brought us there, to that moment of sharing, but first… Notes on The Writer: His dating profile was…

Changing the Rules

When I first started using dating apps, I found it useful to establish some criteria for considering and eliminating potential matches. Visual cues were only going to take me so far, so I began enumerating my no’s — the things that were deal breakers. I would occasionally break my own rules, but for the most…

14. The Traveler

When I matched with The Traveler, it was right at the beginning of a long, empty week. No work, no kids, seemingly endless discretionary time, with the added bonus of a girls trip at the week’s end. He was in town visiting his family, which happened often enough, as he had grown up here and…

13. The Father

The Father was not the first, last, or only man I matched with who had kids. But when I think of him, my thoughts wander to his son and daughter (especially her), even though I never met them. It’d be easy for me to focus on how things ended (poorly), but for a moment I…